|
Bishop
Nikolai Velimirovic, a bishop of the Serbian Orthodox Church, is regarded
by many as a saint yet to be canonized. Little by little his writings
are being translated into English. He died in 1956. He is best known for
The Prologue from Ochrid,
a four-volume work on the lives of the saints (published by the Lazarica
Press, 131 Cob Lane, Birmingham B30 1QE, England). The first volume of
The Holimies will soon be available from the same publisher.
Our thanks to Sinisa Rakic of the Wolkentheater in Amsterdam for suggesting
publication of several of his "Prayers by the Lake" and to Mother
Maria Rule for the translation.
Men
can do me no evil as long as I bear no wound.
I
saw two caves, one of which gave off an echo, while the other was dumb.
Many curious children visited the former, incessantly engaged in shouting
matches with the cave. But visitors quickly left the other cave, because
it gave them no echo in return.
If
my soul is wounded, every worldly evil will resound within it. And people
will laugh at me, and will bear more and more strongly on me with their
shouting.
But
evil-speaking people will not really harm me, if my tongue has forgotten
how to form evil words.
Nor
will external malice sadden me, if there is no malice in my heart to resound
like a goatskin drum.
Nor
shall I be able to respond to wrath with wrath if the lair of wrath within
me has been vacated and there is nothing to be aroused.
Nor
will human passions titillate me if the passions within me have been turned
to ashes.
Nor
will the untruthfulness of friends sadden me if I have chosen Thee for
my friend.
Nor
can the injustice of the world overwhelm me if injustice has been banished
from my thoughts.
Nor
will the deceitful spirits of worldly pleasure, honor and power delude
me, if my soul is like a spotless bride, who receives only the Holy Spirit
and yearns for Him alone.
Men
cannot send anyone off to hell unless that person sends himself, nor can
men hoist anyone up on their shoulders to the throne of God, unless that
person elevates himself.
If
my soul has no open windows, no mud can be thrown into it.
Let
all nature rise up against me; it can do nothing to me except a single
thing -- to become as soon as possible the grave of my body.
Every
worldly crop is covered with manure, so that it will sprout as soon as
possible and grow better. If my soul were, alas, to abandon its virginity
and receive the seed of this world into itself, then it would also have
to accept the manure that the world casts on its fields.
But
I call upon Thee day and night: "Come, dwell in my soul and close
all the places where my enemies can enter. Make the cavern of my soul
empty and dumb, so that no one from the world will desire to enter it."
O
my soul, my only care, be on guard and learn to distinguish between the
voices that smite your ears. Once you hear the voice of your Lord, abandon
your dumbness and echo it with all your strength.
O
my soul, thou cavern of eternity, never allow temporal thieves to enter
into thee and kindle their fire within thee. Be dumb when they shout at
you. Stay still when they bang on you, and patiently await your Master
-- for He will truly come.
*
* *
Thou
hast filled thyself with peace, O Glory of the realms on high, and
the anger of all lands cannot shake Thy peace.
Among
mortals there is little peace; therefore anger has gained in strength.
Anger
makes its nest in the breast of arrogance and murder lies in the breast
of anger.
All
sins tend to murder, and none stands so close to murder as anger.
One-eyed
earthly laws do not punish anger, because they do not see that anger kills.
But Thy discerning law, O Glory of the realms on high, calls anger murder.
I
have striven, in sunlight and moonlight, to penetrate the mystery of Thy
law and, once my striving began to wear away all my worldly hopes, I began
to perceive how my anger towards neighbors was killing me.
The
children of anger are slaves, while the children of peace are sons. Therefore
Thy wisdom speaks to men and reiterates to them: Be sons! A son looks
into the face of his father, and turns his own face towards that of his
father. When he sees peace in his father's face, how can he distort his
own face with anger, and yet not turn his gaze away from his father?
Anger
brings infirmity into both the one who is angry and the one against whom
the anger is vented. And infirmity is the precursor of death.
A
wonder worker does not work miracles among children of anger, for the
children of anger bring infirmity unto him.
O
my neighbors, why do you feel stronger among those who love you, and weaker
among those whom your presence angers? Is it not because the former add
to your life by love, and the latter take from it through anger?
It
is therefore my delight to be constantly with thee, O Glory of the realms
on high. For only in Thy presence I neither kill them nor they me.
Just
as drop after drop of water wears away even the hardest stone, so anger
wears away the life of two people.
Like
a murderer waiting in ambush with a knife, so anger turns in a proud heart.
Truly,
arrogance knows that it is guilty; therefore it places anger at the gate,
to act as its sentry.
Arrogance
knows that it is sinful; therefore it has found itself an advocate in
another sin.
Fill
my heart with humility, O Glory of the realms on high, with the humility
of the angels before Thy throne, for humility gives no abode or resting
place to anger.
Grant
me the humility of a son, and I shall be ashamed to become angry at slaves
or kill slaves. Arm me with Thy peace, that the anger of the children
of anger will not be able to confound.
*
* *
The
Father looks down from heaven and sees me all covered with wounds from
the injustice of men, and says: "Take no revenge."
On
whom should I take revenge, O Lord? On part of a flock on its way to slaughter?
Does
a doctor take revenge on his patients for cursing him on their death beds?
Or
whom should I take revenge? On the snow for melting, or on the grass for
withering? Does a grave digger take revenge on those going down into the
grave?
On
whom shall I take revenge? On simpletons, for thinking that they can do
evil to someone else in the world besides themselves? Does a teacher take
revenge on illiterate children for not knowing how to read?
Eternity
is my witness that all who are quick to take revenge are slow to read
and comprehend its mysteries.
Time
is my witness that all who have taken revenge have accumulated poison
in themselves and have, with this poison, blotted themselves out of the
Book of Life.
In
what can you avengers boast before your adversaries, except my being able
to repeat their evil? Are you not thereby saying: "We are no better
than you?"
God
is my witness that both you and your adversaries are equally reckless
and equally incapable of good.
I
have seen a cherry tree stripped of its bark and set fire to by children,
yet it gave ripe fruit to those same children.
And
I have seen cows, which men tormented with heavy burdens, patiently give
milk to those same men.
Tears
welled up in my eyes, and I asked: Why is nature more compassionate to
men than man is to his fellow man?
Nature
is my witness, O ye avengers, that only he is more powerful than those
who do him evil who is powerless to copy their evil deeds.
There
is no end to vengeance, and the descendants continue the work of their
fathers and then go hence, leaving it unfinished.
Evil
hastens along a wide road, and from each new duel it gains strength and
territory, and increases its retinue.
A
wise man gets off the road and leaves evil to hurry on.
A
barking dog is more quickly silenced by a piece of bread than by many
hurled stones.
He
who taught men: "An eye for an eye," also taught them how they
would all be left blind.
On
whom shall I take revenge, O my heavenly Father? On part of a flock on
its way to slaughter?
Ah,
how wretched are all evildoers and all who take revenge! Truly, they are
like a flock of sheep on the way to slaughter that, unaware of where they
are heading, butt horns with each other and wreak a slaughter before the
slaughter.
I
do not seek vengeance, my Father; I do not seek vengeance, but rather
that Thou grant me a sea of tears, so that I can bewail the wretchedness
of those who are on their way to slaughter, not knowing where they are
going.
[
from In Communion number 5 / Apostles Fast 1996]
|
